I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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