Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
