what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
