That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize