You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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