You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The struggles of a small town man whore
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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