LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
