you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
