Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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