she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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