i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
