I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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