Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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