Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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