i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
