your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
