But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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