In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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