if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
