just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
