You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
