watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize