I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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