So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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