I'm eating all of the evidence.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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