Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize