are you still at the devil's house?
Sry I called you an 8
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
