there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someone shattered a urinal.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know her cup size but not her name....
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