I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
