escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
