He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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