I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
