I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
