you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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