You work out of a Hotel?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
