I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
