Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
