I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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