Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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