your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
