Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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