so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm at about main and main street
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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