you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
