I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
