Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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