I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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