need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
