I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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