She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
