Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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