She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
