I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize