dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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