And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
