I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
