"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
