I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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